Grief, Shared
You gave me something I have missed
The chance to know I still exist
When I’m buried deep chin high in pain
It’s kinda nice to know you’ve felt the same
I slept through eight alarms today
Nothing felt worth it so I stayed
In bed ‘til noon, is that okay
I just don’t feel alive today
All the grief is hard to bear
Sit with me ‘til the moon looks fair
It’s okay, okay I swear
Good and grief feel more real when shared
Something about the way you laugh
Makes me feel I’ll make it back
Shoulder me, I’ll shoulder you
I’ll survive the grief so I can love you
Survive the grief ‘cause I love you
To be sad or not to feel at all
I guess it’s best to feel it all
Feeling means I’m still alive
And I’ll see a day where it’s all alright
It’s all gonna be alright
We’re all gonna be alright
Dear Forgetful
You’re safe with me, come sit and breathe
Too often you go on without me
Don’t you see, nothing stands between
you and me, We’re like roots to evergreen
I’m the roots you’re evergreen
I see the eyes of your soul,
Your sorrow, wherever you go
I feel and read between the lines
of your joints and your marrow
I’ve sat in your darkness
and spoken to the shadows
And it’s killing me seeing you forgetting me
Every time the wind rattles, rattles
I’m closer than it always seems,
I’m Autumn air I’m changing leaves
I Am jealousy.
Leave it all behind to be with me
Yes, leave it all behind to be with me
I’ll call you forgetful
1:09 AM
I’m stuck
We walk over the river Tennessee
She's moving, she’s movin’
I’m feeling sick and frankly
undone, unamused by who I can be
By tendency
They say I don't need boundaries
They say and pour me another neat
I guess I need reminding
I’m capable of the worst things
I’m Huck
I move and shiver
River clay in hands I don’t want to be
My hero’s cutting teeth
I try to catch myself but
I care desperately what they think
Be proud of me
1:09 I’m spinning it’s not worth it
1:09 I can’t breathe they’re laughing
1:09 I’m spinning it’s not worth it
1:09 I can’t breathe they’re laughing
It’s all too much
I’m cable of the worst things
Apt. 6303
You’re my dream since 17
Picture every moment kind of thing
And I can’t get passed all the times we’ve had
I’m coming over
Sit beside me
Come flood and thunder
Hold me with your eyes
I’ll get as close as I know I can
I’ll memorize the lines that run through your hands
And I can’t get passed all the times we’ve had
25 and Separated
She’s been broken
One too many times by you
And now you’re married
And you’re breaking all over again
You’re breaking all over again
You’re breaking all over again
High school lovers trying to stake their claim
Questioning loyalty and when to stay
Said a lot of things that they meant
when they were made
Blindsided, blindsided by mistakes
Blindsided, blindsided by mistakes
They labored days for that day in May
Hot summer day coated by the rain
Washed in the lake, vows they handmade
They were bound, they were bound, bound to stay
They were bound, they were bound, bound to stay
25 and separated, I can’t imagine separated
Not quite 25 and separated,
I can’t imagine separated
Camp Green Lake
Chipping away at something I find worth fighting for
Is slower than the rain
I’ll be waiting by the door for you
I’m not afraid
Waiting for your eyes to talk
is bending metal till it breaks
Say anything, please
We’ll be better by this
Make us better by this
We’ll be better by this
Make us better by this
I'm all for you
Days of Old
You fashioned day from the deep
And from the dirt you cast my entity
By cool of day we'd walk the greenery
It was everything
I know I fall away,
But I was made for you.
I can't keep my record straight,
But I was made for you.
When I'm broken I'm at ease
I forget the notion I can earn my seat.
Like the meadow leans into your breeze,
I'm whole at last when you're with me
I just can't get past
All the times we had
I recall the days of old
When all I had was you
All I had was you
Handmade Thieves
I saw the mountains we painted behind closed eyes as I waited
to somehow wake up, what comes and wakes us?
We fashion noise and clutch it closely, I have a man but I'm still lonely
No amount of company can come chase that feeling
Chronic longing, handmade thieves
all just aching somehow to leave
somewhere we know we're not where we're built to be;
we pine for hills made in honesty.
These hands I'm in, can They be trusted?
My instincts feel so instructed.
How do we navigate tragedy?
You came and laid hold of me.
Let's live in these mountains we've painted, the land our memory created.
It seems as though we've been there before,
and it's realer than something we only hope for
Chronic longing, handmade thieves
all just aching somehow to leave
somewhere we know we're not where we're built to be;
We pine for hills made in honesty
We pine for hills made in honesty
We pine for hills made in honesty
Pine Canyon #5
If you measure me out away from you
I’m a bag of bones and awful habits
Can there be less of me and more of you,
More of you
With pride in every inch of matter?
You are all I’ve always wanted
Space between us long forgotten
Stay with me when I’m exhausted
Grace for me you’re steady minded
You sought after me in my wandering
That's the nature of your wanting
What have I done to be the object of your longing,
The pride of your very matter?
I feel nothing without you, love
Close is never close enough
I feel nothing without you, love
Close is never close enough
Won’t I ever be enough?
I feel nothing without you, love
Teem
There’s more of you
than the depths you’re sharing
Doubt can’t have you.
We’ll get our bearings
I hold you up, we breathe each other in
When you leave the room
I feel the pain for you
Teeming over all of you,
Just call me shadow
I sleep beside, we’ll see it through
2 years the plainview
I hold you up, we breathe each other in
When you leave the room
I feel it all, I feel it all, I feel it all
I feel it all, the pain for you
I feel it all, I feel it all 10 fold
Ready or Not
Melodies on rusty strings
remind me of forever things
I’m so scared and this is so rare
I never thought my heart could care
Never thought my heart could care
Whispering secrets flow through our veins
Eyes wide as we run through the unmistakable rain
Ready or not, it’s all for you all this time I’ve fought
Ready or Not
Can we just stay and look across the bay
I hang on every word you say
Waves may crash against the dock
But smile for me
We built our castle on rock
We built our castle on rock
As a kid I always thought of this
Ya, you’ve been stuck inside my head for weeks
I can’t get your name off my lips
Stills
Send off stranger, blinds your eyes so blue
I wonder why I’m unsteady having you
I keep altering you, I keep wanting all of you, love
I keep altering you, I keep wanting all of you, love
I wish I could feel for someone, not you
lift a shadow off this evening,
honey you don’t even breathe
I keep altering you, I keep wanting all of you, love
I keep altering you
I keep
I keep
Honey you don’t even breathe
Honey you don’t even breathe
Stand in the street void your hands, I don’t know why
Stand in the street void your hands and I don’t know why
I love you, I’ll lose you, I love you, I’ll lose you
They gave up, they gave up, I won’t
I love you, I’ll lose you, I love you, I’ll lose you
Marry you, marry you, marry you….
The sinking hurts when I want you more
Which right is right that I struggle for?
Just know I’m for you, these twisted hands
Gregory Alen’s playing inside my head
I’m folding over still wincing from where we bled
Why do we deny while leaving red tracks behind?
So desperate for guiltless, forgetting we’re clutching knives
You still hung the moon….
Oh my knees are weak not worth my own two feet
I cannot gain control, though I’ve tried.
Oh our mouths make blades, oh I’m made of shakes
You dagger my skin (x2)
“How far ya goin, man? … Me too.
Call me right when you’re home… you shouldn’t go”
Weakening for change, six of one, half a dozen
Longing just to stay the same
I won’t let you go, River Charles to tributary
You’re my only alone you’ll never know
“I erased you like a lark”
“Joely, let me go”
“Familiar impulse… a ripped page”
Weakening for change, six of one, half a dozen
Longing just to stay the same
I won’t let you go, River Charles to tributary
You’re my only alone
“It’s our place for tonight, my lonely one,
I can’t wait to see you, there will be no other” (x2)
try to remember come February, I’ll try
I won’t let you go
I think I’ve finally forced my tongue into speech
given words, given words
They steal the air out from my mouth, I’ll drown in it
giving words, giving words
Stills, September 19th
This fiction, babe, I’m getting tired
my conscience aches although we’ve tried
Flood of me unconscious trial
Two months again, stay East awhile (x2)
There’s enough space for you next to me, next to me but,
For now you’re made of stills in my eyes closed, eyes closed
There’s enough space for you next to me, oh next to me
For now you’re made of stills in my eyes closed
Buried word, words that kill the cold,
rooted babe, stay hold, stay hold, stay hold
I need you, I need you
Breathe me in, sin soaked skin, all of me
healing words, healing words
Cast of stone face like flint, stand in it
Chilling words, chilling word
I need you to come through
Tell me loud, talk me down
When I’m tired I don’t sleep. With gritted teeth I’m
spitting words, spitting words
What leaves your mouth falls in deep, it’s anchored in
hidden words, hidden words
I need you to come through
Tell me loud, talk me down
Please don’t wait till I break
Hear me out, hear me out
Hear me out….
Katy, September 26th
I may come up short,
You’re written on my sleeve
I will come up short,
You’re written on my sleeve
High Caliber Man
If I’m trapped in skin, at least I’m trapped with you, kid
Answering the aching in the room, I tell you “soon”
It takes all I’ve got not to up and run
Make me lovely, make me faithful
It takes all I’ve got
Make the transition, high caliber man
You’re my backbone, high caliber man
Promise me ten minutes, please
Give me all you have to grieve (x4)
To Prove I’m Not
To prove I’m not bleeding out, I’ll show you my hands
All the ways I do things now, I think it’s okay,
Okay
The way you choose to move your mouth, it’s lovely I think
Still I’m not like you like I should be
Okay
I know with a mind’s eye it’s all hard to live by
Shaking fists and old habits are easier to come by
Okay
Youth Hunting
I’m anxious it’s too late, oh you know me
It hurts just to see you, oh you know me
Wishing for longer days, driving, I’m searching
Just to share the same space, driving all night
I’m all consumed, summer skin rejoice
Under river, I’m sunk
It’s something youth hunting, red running through me
Sun dictates our heart rate, red running through me
Summit Hour
Broken Feet
You say you’re in the mood to go,
but your neck is broken and your collar’s choking you.
You say you need to learn to breathe,
off your rope and off your gallow tree
You were built and hard to break. Able, baby, more to take
Don’t turn around now, just keep on breathing in
I lost a year of life at least
hearing only all the dark tongue and speech
Listen, love, it’s worth your time
Hang it up, get it right
Growing old never suited us well
so we picked up our broken feet and
gave time hell
Dear Daughter
I know
your soul
even bones
they groan
You need
ache and bleed
so did I
Seek to find me
The long and the lonely can only go so far
Set back and stumble, find out Whose you are
I know it’s appealing, but I know you know it’s dark
Your step is Mine, rhythm walking beating heart
You sleep alone,
all the lights are on
Nothing’s set in stone
I wasn’t gone so long
(alt. lyrics) Any given second, I’d do it again, you know
Everything that happened
was worth getting you whom I adore
Oh My love for you…
Norther winds feel warmer
when I’m pressed this close to you
Two months is all it took us
to casual uncomfortable
Sure, we’re okay at this
I know that there’s more I’ve missed
Waiting
Even leaving, all the change
should be harder than my face is showing
I’m a plane away
Keep it together, wait it out, but I’m ready now
Sure, we’re okay at this. I know that there’s more I’ve missed
I know it’s different now, I promise you I’m counting down the days
The dim lit side street watching as your hands found my face
you told me to look you in the eye, and follow with words I hold
You say the one thing we’re afraid of saying
Sure, we’re okay at this. I know that there’s more I’ve missed
I know it’s different now, I promise you I’m counting down the days
Waiting