Handmade Thieves (April, 2019)

I saw the mountains we painted behind closed eyes as I waited 
to somehow wake up, what comes and wakes us? 
We fashion noise and clutch it closely, I have a man but I'm still lonely 
No amount of company can come chase that feeling 

Chronic longing, handmade thieves
all just aching somehow to leave 
somewhere we know we're not where we're built to be;

we pine for hills made in honesty. 

These hands I'm in, can They be trusted?
My instincts feel so instructed. 
How do we navigate tragedy? 
You came and laid hold of me. 

Let's live in these mountains we've painted, the land our memory created.
It seems as though we've been there before,
and it's realer than something we only hope for 

Chronic longing, handmade thieves
all just aching somehow to leave 
somewhere we know we're not where we're built to be;
We pine for hills made in honesty 
We pine for hills made in honesty
We pine for hills made in honesty

Stills (2017)

Waterston

Send off stranger, blinds your eyes so blue
I wonder why I’m unsteady having you

I keep altering you, I keep wanting all of you, love
I keep altering you, I keep wanting all of you, love

I wish I could feel for someone, not you
lift a shadow off this evening, honey you don’t even breathe

I keep altering you, I keep wanting all of you, love
I keep altering you

I keep
I keep
Honey you don’t even breathe
Honey you don’t even breathe

Stand in the street void your hands, I don’t know why
Stand in the street void your hands and I don’t know why
Stand in the street void your hands, I don’t know why
Stand in the street void your hands and I don’t know why

Meet Me in Montauk

I love you, I’ll lose you, I love you, I’ll lose you

They gave up, they gave up, I won’t

I love you, I’ll lose you, I love you, I’ll lose you

Marry you, marry you, marry you….

Dagger, June 22nd

The sinking hurts when I want you more
Which right is right that I struggle for?
Just know I’m for you, these twisted hands

Gregory Alen’s playing inside my head
I’m folding over still wincing from where we bled
Why do we deny while leaving red tracks behind?
So desperate for guiltless, forgetting we’re clutching knives
You still hung the moon….

Fantasia

“How far ya goin, man? … Me too.
Call me right when you’re home… you shouldn’t go”

Weakening for change, six of one, half a dozen
Longing just to stay the same
I won’t let you go, River Charles to tributary
You’re my only alone you’ll never know

“I erased you like a lark”
“Joely, let me go”
“Familiar impulse… a ripped page”

Weakening for change, six of one, half a dozen
Longing just to stay the same

I won’t let you go, River Charles to tributary
You’re my only alone

“It’s our place for tonight, my lonely one,
I can’t wait to see you, there will be no other” (x2)

try to remember come February, I’ll try
I won’t let you go

The sinking hurts when I want you more
Which right is right that I struggle for?
Just know I’m for you, these twisted hands
Just know I’m for you, these twisted hands

Gregory Allen’s playing inside my head
I’m folding over still wincing from where we bled
Why do we deny while leaving red tracks behind?
So desperate for guiltless, forgetting we’re clutching knives
You still hung the moon….

Oh my knees are weak not worth my own two feet
I cannot gain control, though I’ve tried.
Oh our mouths make blades, oh I’m made of shakes
You dagger my skin (x2)

FiftySeven

I think I’ve finally forced my tongue into speech
given words, given words
They steal the air out from my mouth, I’ll drown in it
giving words, giving words

Stills, September 19th

This fiction, babe, I’m getting tired
my conscience aches although we’ve tried

Flood of me unconscious trial
Two months again, stay East awhile (x2)

There’s enough space for you next to me, next to me but,
For now you’re made of stills in my eyes closed, eyes closed
There’s enough space for you next to me, oh next to me
For now you’re made of stills in my eyes closed

Buried word, words that kill the cold,
rooted babe, stay hold, stay hold, stay hold

There’s enough space for you next to me, next to me but,
For now you’re made of stills in my eyes closed, eyes closed
There’s enough space for you next to me, oh next to me
For now you’re made of stills in my eyes closed

I need you, I need you

Breathe me in, sin soaked skin, all of me
healing words, healing words
Cast of stone face like flint, stand in it
Chilling words, chilling word

I need you to come through
Tell me loud, talk me down

When I’m tired I don’t sleep. With gritted teeth I’m
spitting words, spitting words
What leaves your mouth falls in deep, it’s anchored in
hidden words, hidden words

I need you to come through
Tell me loud, talk me down
Please don’t wait till I break
Hear me out, hear me out
Hear me out….

Katy, September 26th
I may come up short,
You’re written on my sleeve
I will come up short,
You’re written on my sleeve

High Caliber Man

If I’m trapped in skin, at least I’m trapped with you, kid
Answering the aching in the room, I tell you “soon”

It takes all I’ve got not to up and run
Make me lovely, make me faithful
It takes all I’ve got

Make the transition, high caliber man
You’re my backbone, high caliber man

It takes all I’ve got not to up and run
Make me lovely, make me faithful (x2)

Promise me ten minutes, please
Give me all you have to grieve (x4)

To Prove I’m Not

To prove I’m not bleeding out, I’ll show you my hands
All the ways I do things now, I think it’s okay,
Okay

The way you choose to move your mouth, it’s lovely I think
Still I’m not like you like I should be

Okay

I know with a mind’s eye it’s all hard to live by
Shaking fists and old habits are easier to come by (x2)

Okay

Walk along with anything if there’s anything that’s good for you and good for me
Let’s think of these things

I know with a mind’s eye it’s all hard to live by
Shaking fists and old habits are easier to come by (x2)
it’s easier to come by

Youth Hunting (2016)

I’m anxious it’s too late, oh you know me
It hurts just to see you, oh you know me

Wishing for longer days, driving, I’m searching
Just to share the same space, driving all night

I’m all consumed, summer skin rejoice
Under river, I’m sunk

It’s something youth hunting, red running through me
Sun dictates our heart rate, red running through me

I’m all consumed, summer skin rejoice
Under river, I’m sunk

Summit Hour (2015)

Broken Feet

You say you’re in the mood to go,
but your neck is broken and your collar’s choking you.
You say you need to learn to breathe, off your rope and off your gallow tree

You were built and hard to break. Able, baby, more to take
Don’t turn around now, just keep on breathing in

I lost a year of life at least hearing only all the dark tongue and speech.
Listen, love, it’s worth your time. Hang it up, get it right.

You were built and hard to break. Able, baby, more to take
Don’t turn around now, just keep on breathing in

Growing old never suited us well
so we picked up our broken feet and gave time hell

You were built and hard to break. Able, baby, more to take
Don’t turn around now, just keep on breathing in
Just keep on breathing steady
Just keep on breathing in

‘97

Norther winds feel warmer when I’m pressed this close to you
Two months is all it took us to casual uncomfortable

Sure, we’re okay at this. I know that there’s more I’ve missed… Waiting

Even leaving, all the change should be harder than my face is showing.
I’m a plane away.

Keep it together, wait it out, but I’m ready now

Sure, we’re okay at this. I know that there’s more I’ve missed
I know it’s different now, I promise you I’m counting down the days

The dim lit side street watching as your hands found my face
you told me to look you in the eye, and follow with words I hold

You say the one thing we’re afraid of saying

Sure, we’re okay at this. I know that there’s more I’ve missed
I know it’s different now, I promise you I’m counting down the days

Waiting

Dear Daughter

I know your soul
even bones, they groan

You need, ache, and bleed
so did I. Seek to find me

The long and the lonely can only go so far
Set back and stumble, find out Whose you are
I know it’s appealing, but I know you know it’s dark
Your step is Mine, rhythm walking beating heart

You sleep alone, all the lights are on
Nothing’s set in stone
I wasn’t gone so long

The long and the lonely can only go so far
You set back and stumble to find out Whose you are
I know it’s appealing, but I know you know it’s dark
Your step is Mine, rhythm walking beating heart

(alt. lyrics) Any given second, I’d do it again, you know. Everything that happened was worth getting you whom I adore.

Oh My love for you…